We all grow up with a list—whether written or imagined—of things that are supposed to make us happy. A dream job, a fancy car, a big house, a certain number in a bank account. For the longest time, I chased these goals, believing they held the key to a fulfilled life. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.
Through some honest reflection, trial and error, and a fair amount of emotional growing pains, I learned that what I thought would make me happy often didn’t—and that joy came from entirely unexpected places.
Here are 5 things I thought would bring happiness… and what actually did.
1. I Thought: Success = Happiness
What Actually Made Me Happy: Doing Meaningful Work
I used to equate success with status—climbing the corporate ladder, getting a raise, earning recognition. And while those things felt good temporarily, they didn’t create lasting joy. What actually filled me up was doing meaningful work—work that aligned with my values and helped others in some way. Even if it meant less money or fewer accolades, it gave my days purpose.
2. I Thought: More Money Would Fix Everything
What Actually Made Me Happy: Financial Stability + Simplicity
Let’s be real: money does matter. It buys safety, healthcare, opportunities. But I thought more and more of it would magically fix everything—stress, dissatisfaction, even loneliness. It didn’t. What actually made me happy was reaching a point of financial stability, not excess, and learning to appreciate a simple, uncluttered life. Less stuff, less stress.
3. I Thought: A Perfect Relationship Would Complete Me
What Actually Made Me Happy: Loving Myself First
I believed finding “the one” would fill the gaps in me. But even in relationships, I still felt hollow until I started doing the internal work—healing old wounds, setting boundaries, and learning self-love. A healthy relationship can add joy, but it can’t create it. True happiness came when I started valuing myself, even when I was alone.
4. I Thought: Staying Busy Was the Key
What Actually Made Me Happy: Slowing Down
For years, I wore my busyness like a badge of honor. My calendar was full, but my heart felt empty. It wasn’t until I hit burnout that I learned the beauty of slowing down. Silence. Walks in nature. Saying no. Slowing down made space for real connection, reflection, and peace.
5. I Thought: Achieving My Goals Would Be the Endgame
What Actually Made Me Happy: Enjoying the Journey
I was always chasing the next thing—thinking I’d be happy when I got there. But happiness doesn’t wait for you at the finish line. It lives in the process: the growth, the learning, the being. I found true contentment when I stopped rushing toward the future and started finding joy in the now.
Final Thoughts: Happiness Isn’t What I Expected
What this journey taught me is that happiness isn’t a checklist. It’s not about reaching some mythical point where everything is perfect. It’s about alignment, presence, and inner peace. So if you’re feeling disillusioned by the things that were supposed to make you happy, you’re not alone.
Ask yourself:
What really lights me up?
What drains me?
And am I chasing someone else’s version of happiness?
Because what actually makes you happy might surprise you—and that’s where the magic begins.